


What a precious basket case

by Pollarize



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Haunted Houses, M/M, questionable sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 14:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12559752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollarize/pseuds/Pollarize
Summary: Have you ever tried to pick someone up at a haunted house? It's really hard (in more ways than one)





	What a precious basket case

**Author's Note:**

> so funfact: i actually did try and pick someone up at a haunted house (would have worked except he couldn't hold a conversation and i was like yikes bye) but he actually did follow me from room to room so
> 
> in the spirit of halloween, have this

It was October and Dallon hadn’t been to a haunted house yet that year. It was his favorite time of the year and he had a thing for anything spooky. He’d just been busy, struggling to find time to go and someone who’d let him cling to their arm. Dallon may be tall and intimidating at times to look at but his weakness was horror movies and haunted houses. He knew he was a baby but the thrill kept him coming back.

 

He’d managed to get Ryan to agree, finding a weekend that worked for them both. They met in the parking lot, pulling hoods up on their sweatshirts when it started to drizzle. 

 

“You picked the worst day to come,” Ryan mumbled, walking towards the ticket counter with Dallon. They stood in line for a few minutes, thankfully under a tent for the time being. They paid and moved to the real line, Ryan groaning as the rain started to come down harder. 

 

They were wet by the time they got inside the building, handing their tickets over. There were blacklights in the room they were waiting in, both of them laughing and looking down, trying to find out who was glowing the most.

 

“Dude, you glow way more. Your blue hair lights up,” Dallon said and Ryan’s hand went to his hair, trying to pull some of the wet hair in front of his face so he could see it glow.

 

“Shit,” he said, scrunching his nose for a moment.

 

They finally got to the front, a man stopping them and explaining a few rules. 

 

“Now, please remember, this is a full contact attraction. Our actors will touch you. They will say things to you. Do not hit our actors, they will very angrily remove you from the haunt. Understood?” Dallon and Ryan both nodded, looking to each other and grinning. A man from behind them grabbed them by the backs of their shirts, shoving them forward towards an open door that led into the haunt. 

 

“I’m so not ready,” Dallon whispered, eyes wide as they stepped into a dark room. They shuffled forward, neither wanting to grab onto each other yet. Dallon wanted the comfort of clinging to someone’s arm but he didn’t just yet. Although Ryan would be scared tonight too, he knew Ryan would give him shit for it later. 

 

The first thing they walked into seemed like a normal house. They were in a bedroom, a man sitting on a chair in the corner. He wasn’t moving and Dallon’s attention was focused on that.

 

There was a loud noise and a gust of air that hit Dallon’s legs and the scream he let out was something that they’d expect of a young girl. He immediately clung to Ryan and the man in the corner moved. Two other men came from a different room, investigating who made such a scream. They pulled Dallon and Ryan apart, both of them shouting. Dallon was a little ashamed that he was already regretting things after the first room. 

 

“Dallon, Dallon!” Ryan screamed as he was pulled into a different room, leaving Dallon backed into a corner as the remaining two focused on Dallon, moving in closer. 

 

“Dallon, is it?” One asked, a bigger man who wore a bloody apron. His face was disfigured a bloody, part of his face hanging off. The other man was shorter, smaller. His hair was gelled back into a nice swoop. Of what Dallon could see of his face, he liked. His jawline was nice, half of it at least. Most of his face though was covered in gore, looking like his cheek was gone, the sight of him was unnerving. 

 

“Aren’t you a cutie,” the smaller one said, putting a hand to Dallon’s chest and flattening him to the wall. They were both too close to Dallon, though the smaller one had his whole body pressed to Dallon. He was on his tiptoes to try and get closer to Dallon’s face. He grabbed Dallon’s jaw roughly, forcing him to look down and meet the shorter ones eyes. “Might have to make you my new plaything. Been needing a new toy since the last one had that accident,” he said, the grin on his face making Dallon shiver.

 

Dallon squirmed, trying to get out of their grips but they were both too close, trapping him easily. 

 

“What do you say you come home with me tonight, big boy?” He asked, laughing and tipping his head back. Dallon wasn’t used to such sexual comments being said to him outright. Not that he was complaining, the guy seemed cute. Dallon just wasn’t sure how to respond. The two backed off as another group came into the room. Dallon stalled for a second, eyes locked on the smaller one, trying to figure out if he was free to go or not.

 

“Oh, looks like someone is eager to come home with me, huh? I’ll find you tonight, big boy,” he said and Dallon tried not to let the words get to him but he was on autopilot. He ducked his head, looking down to the ground, shoulders slumping forward slightly.

 

“Yes, Daddy,” he whispered, cheeks getting bright red at what came out without much thought. He hurried out of the room. 

 

Dallon found Ryan two rooms later, cowering in a corner. They linked arms, both of them thankful to find their friend again.

 

They came to a narrow hallway that had body parts hanging from the ceiling. There were severed heads and arms, legs. They all shined like the blood was real and Dallon was really trying not to get blood on himself. That wasn’t something he wanted. They hung down far enough that if Dallon wanted to avoid them completely, he’d have to get to his knees. 

 

He was holding hands with Ryan, only because it was easier to move through the house that way. 

 

Dallon froze in front of the hanging body parts, Ryan tugging on his arm. Dallon shook his head, refusing to even touch the body parts. He knew they were fake but there was no way he’d willingly touch them. There was only one logical solution for Dallon. Crawl under them.

 

He got down to his knees and Ryan was shocked for a second.

 

“Dallon, what are you doing?” He asked, trying to grab Dallon’s hips and pull him back. Dallon smacked his hand away, shouting ‘no’ back at him.

 

“I’m not gonna touch that shit,” he said, crawling away quickly so Ryan couldn’t grab him again. He looked up as he crawled under the body parts, shivering and then looking away. They looked all too real.

 

Dallon kept his head down as he crawled, seeing the corner of the hall coming closer and closer. Hto was relieved when he was finally at the end, stopping and sighing. He has closed his eyes for a second as he calmed down, opening them when he heard Ryan mumble ‘shit’ behind him. 

 

He opened his eyes to feet in front of him. 

 

“That’s cheating, don’t you think?” The man in front of Dallon asked. Dallon leaned up onto his knees so he could see who it was. His cheek was still missing and his hair was still gelled back and Dallon still thought that what he could make of the man's face was attractive. 

 

“Sorry,” Dallon whispered without much other thought. 

 

“Big boy already on his knees for me? I have to say, I’m a little shocked. We just met. I thought it would take a little more to get you to be my new plaything,” the man said and Dallon quickly scrambled to his feet, thankful that the dark room could hide his blush. Also a little thankful that he wore dark jeans. Dallon was ashamed to admit it, even to himself, but he wouldn’t have minded staying on his knees like that. Of course, if they weren’t in the middle of a haunted house and Dallon wasn’t with his friend. 

 

Dallon turned around when he heard body parts swinging, finding Ryan walking towards him. When Dallon turned around, the man was gone. 

 

“Big boy? Who was that?” Ryan asked, giving Dallon a quizzical look. Dallon tried to play it off with a shrug.

 

“Dunno, just some actor who was messing with me earlier.” Ryan took that excuse and walked forward down the hall.

 

The walls around them changed and the actors did, too. There was still a fair amount of gore but now it was all that from an asylum. Actors wore straight jackets and some were in metal cages. 

 

Dallon was grabbed from behind and pushed onto a table. A doctor stood over him with the biggest needle Dallon had ever seen. His grin was huge and his breath smelled and he wanted to slice Dallon open and do something with his organs. Dallon was squirming under him, trying to get off the table and out of the room. He was finally let go of and he crashed to the floor with how hard he’d been struggling. His knees ached but that didn’t stop him from running from the room and crashing into the back of Ryan.

 

They continued on, coming into a room where patients were locked up, the metal bars clanging where they ran into them as the two passed. Dallon flinched at each loud noise. 

 

It was a maze of bars and it had been too long since the last jump scare, it left Dallon on edge. He knew it was coming, knew someone would be waiting around a corner, ready to back him into a wall where he’d cower even though he was heads above most of the people there.

 

They went back and forth in the seemingly never ending maze of metal bars. Dallon was disoriented and that’s when he heard it. 

 

He could hear breathing somewhere nearby but he couldn’t find where it was coming from. He knew what Ryan sounded like, knew where Ryan was, and he knew that it definitely wasn’t Ryan. It started quietly, the sound of metal on metal, slightly scratching as it was dragged. Then it dinged as it hit the next bar, whoever was doing it was moving through the maze, too. 

 

_ Ding, ding, ding,  _ each one progressively getting louder and faster before they completely stopped. Dallon did as well.

 

“Dallon,” was said, a high pitched voice, the name stretched out in a sing-song voice. 

 

“Dallon, Dallon, Dallon,” they said, the end of the room in pitch black. There was a flash of light and Dallon saw a bloody cheek before he was gone. A shiver went through his body and Dallon wished he could find an exit, maybe a bathroom so he could take care of the weirdest boner he’d ever had.

 

When they got through the maze they ended up outside but it was definitely not the end of the haunt. The air was cold but props were everywhere and a man in a military uniform jumped out at them and Dallon couldn’t keep his scream in.

 

Dallon and Ryan caught up to a group that was stopped in the middle of the hall, an actor in front of them talking. Dallon recognized him immediately and figured that he’d see the cheekless man in every room. He had the brief thought that maybe the man was following him. He certainly didn’t dress like he was meant to be part of the military room but he was there anyway. 

 

He was picking someone, ranting about how he needed to make an example out of them. Dallon was at the back and while he was taller than most, he thought that he’d mostly gotten away with hiding in the back of the group. 

 

The cheekless man was looking through the anxious faces, walking forward slowly. He didn’t wait for them to move, bumping shoulders and forcing them to move for him. A few of the people tripped as they tried to get away but the man didn’t seem to care. He came to stand in front of Dallon, a smirk on his face. Dallon knew that he was in trouble. That was when he saw the gun in the man’s hand, a small, black pistol that he hadn’t seen previously. The man was short but ballsy, reaching up and grabbing Dallon’s hair.

 

He yanked Dallon forward and somebody screamed when they saw what was happening. Dallon was thankful for the noise for how it covered up the moan that he couldn’t have stopped even if he’d wanted to. He just hoped his hair would be let go of because it was by far his biggest weakness. 

 

Letting go didn’t seem to be in the man’s plan though. He pulled Dallon to the front, making him stand alone in front of everyone, an arch to his back where his head was being pulled down. The backs of his knees were kicked and Dallon dropped to his knees, staying as still as he could. He tried to mask his face into one of pain rather than the slack mouth, drool pooling at the corners of his mouth that he’d been previously.

 

Dallon felt the cold metal of the barrel of the gun at his temple and his eyes got wide, the people watching all gasped. 

 

“You fuckers don’t even understand,” the man started, his voice raised higher than anything Dallon had heard so far. It startled him to be in that position, unsure what he should or shouldn’t do when a gun was at his head. He kept reminding himself that it was a prop, it was just a prop, but God, it felt so real. He could hear the click of the safety being released. Dallon didn’t want to die with his dick hard between his legs because of a psycho with a thing for pulling hair.

 

“This is all for the greater good. There are casualties of war and you will never survive. None of you have what it takes.” The gun left Dallon’s head and instead pointed to the others. Dallon was still thrown through a loop, anxious and more than terrified. He felt the gun at his temple again and he squeezed his eyes closed, the metal digging into his skin. 

 

“None of you will survive and you’ll all wish you’d taken my advice. If I’m going out then I’m taking him with me,” he said, tugging on Dallon’s hair. 

 

There were two bangs and the grip on Dallon’s hair was gone. He collapsed forward, gasping as he hit the floor. The group of people had all shut their eyes, screaming when they heard the gun go off, screaming again when they saw Dallon face first on the cement. 

 

Dallon wasn’t dead though, just shocked, a little ashamed that even with how crazy the man was, he was still turned on, still interested. He brought a hand up to his temple and there was nothing wet, no pain, obviously still alive. It was only a blank, a bang to get the people to panic. The man was gone by the time Dallon’s limbs worked again and he could stand on his shaky legs. Ryan ran up to him and pulled him into a hug, both of them shaking as the group hurried around them.

 

“Holy shit, I thought he actually did it,” Ryan mumbled into Dallon’s chest. All Dallon could do for a minute was swallow and nod.

 

“Yeah, me too,” he said and they pulled apart, moving down the hall.

 

The military room ended and they were still outside but instead of cargo netting it was corn. 

 

It wasn’t as scary to Dallon. Just a corn maze with a couple of men in pig masks that tried to scare them. Dallon didn’t think anything could top a gun to his head and a crazy man threatening murder suicide. They kept walking, feeling like they were going around in circles but Dallon was mostly looking for a bloody cheek. It seemed that the man was following him room to room, always getting there before him. Dallon expected it now. He just didn’t know  _ what  _ to expect anymore. 

 

But Dallon knew he was getting to the end of the room and that the man hadn’t come up. He thought that maybe he’d beaten him there. They were walking and a door to the right of them opened up. The hall continued forward and the two of them stopped, looking between both.

 

“You think it’s meant for us to go down?” Ryan asked and Dallon shrugged. He had no idea.

 

“Maybe it’s meant to break up the space between groups,” Dallon suggested, not sure if he was even right. He looked around himself, trying to spot a man out of place from the farmers and scarecrows but he didn’t see anything of the sort. 

  
“Quick, go down there before that guy comes,” Dallon said, shoving Ryan towards the door. 

 

“No, don’t go down there, not for you,” someone said from behind them. Dallon turned and saw the man he’d been looking for but he wasn’t trying to scare them. That might have been his intention but it didn’t seem to work out. He shut the door, putting a hook through an eyehole and sighing. “Straight, go straight,” he said, pointing his finger down the way that Dallon had originally been going. Ryan started walking but Dallon didn’t quite yet. He was staring at the man, unsure why he wasn’t leaving as quick as possible.

 

Maybe it was because he broke character, not acting like he was blood crazed and after something. He seemed normal for the moment. He was the person Dallon was interested in getting to know more than just the blood dripping from his cheek and his affinity for creeping Dallon out. Maybe he stayed because he expected more. There hadn’t been any inappropriate comments or even a slight touch, he hadn’t even heard his name. The man just stared at him and it was obvious nothing was going to happen. 

 

Dallon walked away like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs. He reminded himself again that just because the man had said some flirty comments (in the creepiest way possible) that it didn’t necessarily mean he was actually into Dallon. It wasn’t like it was hard to scare Dallon, he was easy to frighten and that was probably more fun than someone who laughed in the actors faces. He reminded himself that he was nothing special and the man probably picked a new person each night to flirt with and terrorize. 

 

The corn died off and they were back inside, the walls of that of a carnival. Clowns greeted them at the entrance, looking between the two of them and grinning. 

 

“Which one of you is Dallon?” One of the clowns asked. Dallon wasn’t going to say anything. His first thought was to pretend like he’d never heard the name in his life but it seemed Ryan had other plans. He dropped to his knees and extended his hands like he was presenting Dallon to the clowns. Dallon looked down at his friend, disbelief evident on his face.

 

“Dude,” he said, trying to ignore the way the clowns giggled and cackled. They stepped away from Ryan and Dallon, letting the two pass, not without a chant of Dallon’s names as he wandered through the halls. As they got further, it seemed that all of the clowns knew his name. Almost like somebody had been here before and warned them that Dallon was coming. He could only think of one person.

 

Dallon was separated from Ryan for a moment, clowns surrounding him so he couldn’t leave. They taunted him and chanted things in his face, grabbing at his arms and touching his neck. He swallowed thickly, wanting to get as far from their creepy smiles as he could. 

 

Most of the group stepped away except for one, pressing up against Dallon from behind. He felt a hand grab as his ass firmly before speaking.

 

“That one’s from Daddy, he said he’ll see you tonight when you’re alone,” the clown said, giggling as they disappeared around a corner. It left Dallon with red cheeks and a boner that still wouldn’t go away. Ryan gave him a look.

 

“Daddy? Do you have a Daddy kink?” He asked and Dallon was a little too quick to defend himself. 

 

“What? No, he’s just being weird, it’s just an actor,” he said, turning away quickly.

 

The clowns taunted him again and again but none of them could quite scare him. He was too occupied thinking about that man, wanting to see him again, wishing he could talk to him more than what they had already. He knew it was a lost cause though. 

 

The haunted house ended suddenly, pushing them out into the cold damp air again. Dallon was still slightly wet from waiting in line and the cold breeze made him shiver. 

 

“Thanks for the fun night,” Ryan said, patting Dallon’s back before heading for the parking lot quickly. Dallon understood his hurry. A warm car was exactly what Dallon wanted and needed yet he didn’t get in his car. It was past closing and he knew the actors would leave the haunted house to go to their own homes soon.

 

Dallon stood at the front of the parking lot, knowing that everyone would have to walk past him to get to their cars. He assumed they would take their makeup off before leaving, some of what they were wearing had to be expensive prosthetics. Yet still, Dallon wasn’t sure who he should be looking for. Other than that it was a man who was shorter than he was, but then again, that was most of the people he’d walked past that night. 

 

There was a good thirty minutes that nobody came out and Dallon assumed that had been the last of the customers, the next people leaving should be the actors. 

  
He was right. 

 

People walked by, giving Dallon curious looks. A lot of them pointed at him, giggling with who they were walking next to as they looked at him. 

 

“That’s the guy he was telling us about,” one girl said to her friend, both of them hurrying to their cars. Dallon was shivering and he looked back at his car a little enviously. He was thinking too much with his dick (and his heart, he swore) to think about comfort. He really did want to know this guy outside of the haunt. He’d be more than happy to make friends with him. The man seemed cool or something. 

 

Dallon scanned each of the faces that passed and he grew increasingly anxious when none of them seemed familiar. He was a little scared that he wouldn’t recognize the man without blood dripping from his cheek and teeth showing from where skin should have been. 

 

His anxiety was answered when it had been ten minutes and nobody new had walked out. Dallon looked around the parking lot and his car was the only one left. He knew that it had been a long shot, that he’d go home and masturbate to the thought of what it would have been if he’d become this man’s new plaything. He wanted it, a little too much but it was an enticing thought. 

 

Dallon’s shoulders slumped as he walked back to his car, pulling his keys out. He was about to unlock his door when he dropped them, a splash as they hit a puddle.

 

“Fuck,” he said, his night just getting that much worse. He was disappointed in lots of things by then. 

 

He unlocked the door and had one foot inside when he heard it.

 

“Dallon,” a voice said, the name stretched out in a sing-song voice. It was the most recognizable thing he’d heard all night and he knew it had to have been from the one person he’d been waiting for. Dallon looked around, eyes peering into the dark and he didn’t see anybody.

 

“Hello?” He answered, frowning for a moment before he saw a body pop up from the other side of his car. His hair was still gelled back and his cheek was fully intact this time but his skin seemed to be stained pink from the blood he’d had smeared on his face. Dallon was almost floored with how attractive the man was.

 

“Cheek guy?” He asked and the man laughed, nodding his head. 

 

“Brendon, actually,” he said and Dallon smiled, glad to have a name to the face finally. “I didn’t think you’d actually stay,” he confessed and Dallon’s blush came back.

 

“I shouldn’t have, it’s cold and I’m cold,” he said, looking down at his hands which were numb at the fingertips. “I don’t know what I was expecting. I just thought you would be cute when you had both of your cheeks,” he said and Brendon smiled, all of his teeth showing. Dallon didn’t think it was fair for someone to have that good of a smile.

 

“Well, were you right?” Brendon asked and Dallon was surprised he even had to ask. 

 

“Super right,” was all that came out and Dallon cringed with how dumb he sounded.

 

“Good because I thought you were cute. I wasn’t totally kidding about the plaything, though.”

 

“Good.”

 

They stood in silence for a minute, neither knowing what to say or what to do. It was a mixture of an awkward first meeting and an ‘I-really-want-to-fuck-you’ ordeal and Dallon was at a loss for how to continue. Brendon broke the silence.

 

“Look, I know this is weird but I got a ride here with a friend and he left when I said I wanted to stay and talk to you. Is there any way I could get you to give me a ride home? If not then I can get an uber or something but, worth a shot,” he said, smiling but not expecting anything regardless. Dallon didn’t even have a chance to think before his mouth was open and running.

 

“Sure but I don’t know where you live. You’d just have to come home with me and totally sleep on the couch,” he said, his words playful and obviously untrue. 

 

“I don’t sleep very well but sure, if you wish,” Brendon said, adding a wink to it. 

 

“Or you could just fuck me into the mattress,” Dallon said for clarification. 

 

“Definitely.”


End file.
